Monica Lewinsky. What comes to your mind when you hear this name? For most, the Lewinsky name is recognizable. Most will instantly connect the name to the “Lewinsky Scandal” fifteen years ago. Probably even do their best Clinton impression and recite that famous “I did not have sexual relations with that woman” line. But let’s take a deeper look into the past of Ms. Monica Lewinsky.
Twenty-two year old Lewinsky became an intern at the White House in the summer of 1995. In November, her secret relationship with Bill Clinton began. Unfortunately for her, it wasn’t one of those things that everyone just kind of forgot about with time. Today, Lewinsky’s name is used in songs, as a punch line for jokes and as a euphemism for oral sex.
After the relationship was exposed, Lewinsky testified to having ten sexual encounters with Clinton. However, the relationship wasn’t all sexual. The couple had around fifty late night phone calls. Some lasted for hours, just talking about any and everything. Lewinsky gave Clinton around thirty gifts such as paperweights, mugs, ties, etc. While he in return gave her about eighteen gifts such as hats, brooches and many other things. Friends of Lewinsky who knew of the relationship reported that Clinton would say things about no longer begin married after his presidency was over. Lewinsky began thinking about becoming his wife.
This wasn’t a scam Lewinsky was pulling to make Clinton look bad. She wasn’t doing this for money or for publicity. She had feelings for him, she was in love with President Clinton, she wanted to be his wife. And he took full advantage of that. Fast-forward to January of 1998 and Clinton is publicly denying having sex with “that woman”.
Picture your daughter, sister, best female friend, even yourself. Picture that person falling in love with a man and allowing yourself to have an affair with them. Now imagine that same person being known with the same reputation Monica Lewinsky has. Lewinsky is a perfect example of slut shaming.
For those of you unfamiliar with this buzzword, slut shaming, also known as slut bashing, is the act of attacking a woman for being sexual. The word “slut” itself is a weapon used to make women feel ashamed or inferior. Slut shaming is present among all ages. From high schoolers being bullied for losing their virginity, to a thirty year old woman who has multiple partners, to Monica Lewinsky who fell in love with a man and began a relationship with him.
I googled “Bill Clinton” and the screen was filled with videos of different speeches, news reports about the Clinton Foundation and updates on his wife’s presidential campaign. Then I google “Monica Lewinsky”. The first thing that pops up is a link to the “Lewinsky Scandal”, followed by a list of “Top 10 Mistresses” in which she is featured. The top right corner is Lewinsky’s biography which includes her full name followed by the fact that she had an “inappropriate relationship” with Clinton. It would be difficult to find anything in this search that wasn’t related to the affair.
Go back to that person you were imagining, what if this was their life now. When dating, or trying to get a job or going to the doctors, she will be known for having sex with one man, even fifteen years later. While that man continues his life and his marriage and slowly becomes less and less associated with the relationship.
Monica has recently spoken out about the shame and humiliation that she has been living with. She now speaks out as an anti-cyberbully advocate. She has taken responsibility for her actions and is trying to make the best out of her situation. She is using her story to educate young people of the effects of cyber shaming and bullying. I can’t think of a better way for her to handle this situation. Yet, many fail to see it this way.
After Lewinsky’s Ted Talk “The Price of Shame” went online, the comments were flooded with disgusting negativity. Commenter’s called her a slut and a whore. They made fun of her, criticized her weight, her dress, and her overall physical appearance. They blamed her for 9/11 attacks and for Al Gore losing the 2000 presidency. Fifteen years later, Lewinsky is still being bullied for the same thing she was in 1995.
According to meganmeierfoundation.org, 71.9% of students reported to being cyberbullied one or two times each year. 19.6% reported experiencing it once or twice a month. 5.3% reported once or twice a week. And 3.1% reported almost every single day.
56% of students who are bullied admit to turning to self-harm as a coping mechanism. Suicide is the second highest cause of death for individual’s ages 15-24 years old. Approximately 3,994 people of this age group commit suicide each year.
I think anyone who devotes their time trying to change these statistics should be applauded. I also think America owes Monica Lewinsky a huge apology for bullying her, shaming her and attacking her. And then after apologizing, go ahead and pat her on the back and thank her for trying to positively influence youth and prevent anyone else from suffering the way she did.
So next time the name Monica Lewinsky comes up in conversation, instead of making a sex joke, try saying something like “Wasn’t her Ted Talk great?” or “Aren’t her efforts to end bullying wonderful?”. Or just don’t say anything at all. But try to come up with something, anything better than a pathetic joke about a woman’s sex life fifteen year ago. It’s time to move on.
“We talk a lot about our right to freedom of speech, but we need to talk more about our responsibility to freedom of speech.” –Monica Lewinsky
Embracing My Scars 